It’s true. You don’t hear much about it, but men have Fibromyalgia, too. There is little research about men and fibro, but it seems that 1 out of 8 people with fibromyalgia are men. Here’s an article from Medical News Today.
And Now For Some Soft Hugs
I wanted to find some soft hugs for or from men this month. It was more difficult to find men to respond. I only received one response from Dale R. I’ll share some of his responses today.
S - Scriptures & Quotes
I know there can be a stigma attached to being a man with Fibro, especially if working or undertaking activities where it might be expected a man would 'step up'. Work on your own self-esteem and confidence to speak up for what you need, and to set clear boundaries within your limitations. We all know that overdoing things only leads to a flare impacting our abilities further. If others have a problem with your situation it is their problem, not yours. Do not take on others’ negativity or ignorance. Educate if you can, but don't preach, stay calm, or ignore comments altogether. Find the confidence to speak up for what you need, but also apply this to speaking kindly to yourself. Educate yourself about your condition, there are so many good resources and support networks available, and research ways of improving your function, including building a routine and self-management skills. There may 'be no cure' for Fibro and little knowledge in the medical community so it is upon those of us with Fibro to lead the way. - Dale R.
O - Oasis - Where to find a place of relaxation.
From Dale R. “Taking a walk in the local countryside, woodland or along the canal. As a hobby photographer, I always carry my camera and look for opportunities to create images, it also ticks the box for my exercise. I also love being by the coast when I can, but we live in the middle of England, so that's not as often as I would like. I am an amateur singer and guitarist and find writing my own songs very relaxing and therapeutic. Singing is great for improving how I feel, stimulating the vagus nerve until fatigue kicks in.”
Taking a walk or hike sounds wonderful. But perhaps you aren’t able to walk very far. Here is a virtual hike through the Canadian Forest in British Columbia.
Hiking in British Columbia
F - Funny
I love to have a good laugh, and as a family, we often sit with a favorite movie or DVD of a stand-up comedian to unwind. My favorite movies include 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles', 'Trading Places', 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels', 'The Money Pit', 'Evan Almighty' or 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. One of our favorite comedians is Lee Evans from the UK, we have all of his DVD's, it doesn't matter how often we watch them we always have a really good belly laugh. The Baby Yoda posts on FB always make me smile.
T - Travel
We haven't traveled abroad much since Fibro hit, due to financial limitations, but do love going to Cyprus or other Greek islands when we can. The last time was 2022, and the day after arriving was a challenge with a flare-up of all symptoms, however, it was 30 degrees, with clear blue skies, and dry heat which is better overall for me to function. It would be much better for my health than the damp UK weather!
We live 40 minutes from London by train, so when I can I like to travel in for some street photography. I plan where I want to go or the types of shots I would like to capture, and pace myself throughout to make the most of the day.
I have recently used public transport a couple of times to visit my parents who live 97 miles away, (trains and buses - one way), as a test should I not have access to the family car but need to get to them now they are in their late 70's. I have written about this experience in my blog (see links below). My tips are as follows;
See your travel as an adventure.
Plan for best-case scenarios and be prepared for the unexpected - in my case train delays/cancellations, and travel by public transport in the UK can be challenging.
Pace yourself - I know everyone with Fibro is tired of hearing the phrase "pacing", but this doesn't only apply to physical movement, but mental energy too. If you get frustrated because your day isn't going as planned, (attachment), symptoms will increase. So learn to go with the flow.
Mentally and physically break down your journey into smaller steps, don't focus on the whole thing. For example, I go from home to Norfolk by train and bus via London for the right connections, so I focus on home to London, then when I arrive I gather myself and then look at the next step - Euston Station to Kings Cross Station etc.
Plan breaks if you need them, I aim to get the next train or bus rather than push and pressure myself to get the 'next' connection.
Congratulate yourself when you complete each step.
Rest in transit - I use meditation/breathing techniques. When you're on transport let it take the strain and enjoy the ride.
Plan a 'recovery day' after you arrive, no plans, and make sure if you're visiting family or friends that they understand your needs. You may not need it, but just in case.
Links to Dale’s travel blog posts;
Fibro and the Unpredictable - Public Transport Adventure
The Post Travel Experience and Payback of Fibro
Four Trains, Three Buses and a Flare Up
H - something Heard
Dale says, “Podcasts have become a constant companion during the day when family are at work and school, and when I'm on my walks. As I struggle with reading due to cognitive decline they have been essential for researching Fibro and connected conditions, as well as general wellbeing and entertainment. Those that I don't miss an episode of include;
Good Life Project (well-being and personal development)
Ten Percent Happier (well-being and personal development)
The One You Feed (well-being and personal development)
Sherlock & Co (fictional drama with some very funny moments)
The Rest Is Politics and The Rest Is Politics Leading
The Rest Is Football
The PhotoWalk Podcast
U - Updates on Soft Hugs for Mommy
Paperback is doing well. You can purchase a signed copy at Etsy - Legacy Gifts & Creations
Kindle version should be available this weekend and hopefully at a discounted price.
FAVORITE BOOK COVER CONTEST
Has everyone voted for my book cover? I'm right at the cut-off for the next voting round and could use a boost to stay in the running. Please click and VOTE Here
All you have to do is click the vote button. (If the button is brown, you already voted.)
G - Good Reads
As mentioned previously, I have struggled with reading since Fibro hit me in 2019, as well as using screens, but I do try to scan through my fellow Fibro advocates posts through the X feeds and the Fibro Bloggers Directory
I have some great books on my shelf I have read in the past, mostly about Buddhist philosophy, such as the Lama Surya Das and Dalai Lama books, which I would like to be able to read again. At present, I buy photography books from charity stores to inspire my photography, both now and what I would like to aspire to, like travel.
For understanding Fibro, 'Conquering Your Fibromyalgia' by Dr Michael Lenz is very thorough and has helped increase my confidence in talking with medical professionals.
S - Songs to Encourage
'The Sky's The Limit' by Nik Kershaw
Soft hugs,
Mandy Farmer